How Connecting With Your 'Why' Will Help You to FINALLY Reach Your Goals
Do you have a part of your life you'd like to be better? Is this issue causing you grief, pain, or significant inconvenience?
Meet a woman we'll call, Josie. She wants to lose weight and really wants to look better in her bikini while on her family beach trip this summer.
Josie notices she has difficulty being self-disciplined with her daily meals and especially when she has to eat at a restaurant.
Josie needs to get in touch with something deeper in order for her to be disciplined enough to reach her goal.
Josie reaches out to a health coach and she discovers that the reason she wants to lose weight for her beach trip is so that her older brother will finally stop teasing her about her weight and her food choices.
What Josie was really searching for was peace. It wasn't weight loss help she needed because, for her, it ultimately boiled down to having a meaningful sibling relationship.
Although she acknowledges that her weight is an issue, her why for wanting to lose weight didn't have much to do with her health, how she wants to feel about her body, or how she wants to feel in her body.
She works with her coach to arm herself with tools to interpersonally deal with her brother on the trip. She also gains more confidence in herself and her ability to manage the feelings created by these comments from her brother.
In the end, Josie's real goal was about improving her relationship and connection with her family. When she discovered her why it completely changed her goal. She got in touch with what was the most important to her.
Through this growth process, Josie was able to attack her weight loss down the road. . . and succeed because she had done the deeper work.
That's when we are motivated and disciplined to make changes. When we know our values. When we know what we want most for ourselves and having an emotional connection to why we want it.
Whether we triumphantly reach our goals or fail miserably is dependent on the amount we are emotionally or deeply invested. This is usually included when you define the specifics of your goal.
But, have you defined how you want to feel as you manifest this into reality? (Danielle LaPorte is an expert at teaching us this).
Without a crystal clear why we may never be motivated enough or disciplined enough to reach our goal.
I'll use myself as another example.
When I was at my worst, between the migraines, vertigo, and the chronically swollen glands that always made me aware I was fighting some kind of virus, I had to miss work much more than I wanted to.
So not only was I miserable with IBS, intermittent headaches, insomnia, and chemical sensitivities, my symptoms were affecting my ability to be present and available in my business.
They were keeping me from being the business owner I wanted to be; from being the wife I wanted to be; from being the woman I wanted to be. And I was fearful of what my health would look like in a decade if I didn't figure it out.
I was willing to spend a great portion of my income to feel better. I was willing to try any promising, natural, or "woo-woo" treatment. Oh and boy did I!
And you better believe I followed through. I didn't quit. I saw everything I tried to the end and gave everything I tried a fair shot at contributing to improving my symptoms and therefore, my life.
My "why" was to become a better version of myself and to take care of Mandi 10 years from now.
I needed to heal.
This wasn't just something I wanted. At times, it was all that mattered to me.
It wasn't just that I wanted relief from these ailments. A strong motivator in me was the fear of what it could evolve into.
But most of all, I needed to be the best I could be. And I couldn't be my best with all these symptoms weighing me down.
To do that, I had to find something worthy to dedicate my efforts to heal and give it my all.
I did find it. I am still giving it my all. And I am reaping the benefits!
So the most important thing we can do to ensure we reach our goals is to deeply connect to our why.
When we have clarity on what we want, a deep connection to what we want, and why we want it, we're more likely to stay on track with reaching that goal.
So when you find yourself failing yet again at another attempt to reach a health goal or lifestyle goal, ask yourself honest questions.
Here are a few to get you started. (Bonus if you journal on these!)
Who or what is it that I want to be and why?
How do I want to feel every day? (Think about how you want to feel as a professional, as a parent, as a partner, etc.)
What do I value and why is this important to me?
What is the absolute truth I need to tell myself?
To your health and healing,